


Dirk & Caliborn

by iMusicalMinji



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Beforian trolls, Caliborn as Stitch, Child alphas, Dave as Nani, Dirk as Lilo, Disney AU, Feferi as the Queen, Gamzee as Jumba, Karkat as Pleakley, Lilo & Stitch - Freeform, M/M, Multi, Terezi as Gantu, adult betas
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-14
Updated: 2014-02-22
Packaged: 2018-01-04 14:46:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1082264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iMusicalMinji/pseuds/iMusicalMinji
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The lonely younger brother to a famous movie director is in for a big surprise when he adopts a strange lizard like creature from a local animal shelter while on vacation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. It's a monster! But only a small one.

**Author's Note:**

> If you make art for this, just submit it to my tumblr (imusicalminji.tumblr.com/submit) and I will add it to the appropriate place in the story!

The star filled space around the small grey world sparkled mischievously, almost laughing tauntingly at the denizens that dwelled on the planet. The night was sickeningly silent on the streets, the only rustle around from a lone a flayer blowing in the wind as it crossed the dazzling pink moon before perching on a mailbox. The paper read "Justice to the Damned," splattered in blood of questionably indigo or violent origins, flaked and dried from age.  

Not far off from this site was a towering building, stretching up into the night sky as if daring to touch the hovering stars above. The faint murmur of voices could barely be heard outside, as if the building itself was to it s breaking point from containing the numerous individuals inside. Rows upon rows of spectators lined the walls of the galley. All of them nervous and excited for the unexpected and unexplained trial of the land prince, the grand  highblood ,  Gamzee Makara .

The grand doors to the court block are pushed open, creaking gently, and the room goes silent with anticipation. The troll in question is shuffled in slowly, chains clacking and grinding together horribly on his too big limbs. Many of the audience present would vouch the man as a gentle giant, a saint amongst the high bloods. Some more courageous viewers in the higher seats shouting that this is wrong, but the front row see the truth. Deep within his eyes, behind his paint and scarred skin, it was obvious that something within this man had snapped and broken. A boiling and burning rage barely contained by the guards ushering him to the podium. Two carts covered in satin as pulled to either side of the towering figure, a whimper heard from one and a shrill growl from the other.

A council sits before the room, the panel of five staring the man down. The empress takes the stand, appearing as if from the shadows of the room, hair flowing and cascading elegantly as if still waving in the murky waters she calls home. 

"Read the charges," she commands, face sneering in pain. 

A slim female in red glasses scoffs a bit at the empress as she raises from her seat. She takes her time in patting down her finely pressed uniform and flipping her hair. The woman lifts her head high and crosses her hands delicately over a read cane, the jeweled eyes of a dragon glaring down at the monst rous  man while living eyes can not. 

" Gamzee Makara , grand  highblood  and ambass ador for land and sea communication, you stand before the court today accused of harboring dangerous extraterrestrial life and plotting to use them for world wide acts of treason. How do you plead?"

He grinned at the girl, "Now come on my teal blooded sister, do you think little old me could do that?"

"Don't bullshit me  Makara !" She snapped back, gripping one hand on a railing. 

"Language, legislator," reminded the Empress.

The Legislator cleared her throat to regain composure with the help of a friendly pat on the shoulder from the empress. "We do not need a testimony from you with the evidence so painsta king  clear and physically in front of us," the empress said. 

As if on queue, the clothes are removed from the carts to reveal two green alien creatures. One cowered and covered it's face while the other banged and scratched at the glass of it's prison. 

"Then why do you even have me motherfucking here?"  Makara  growled deeply. 

"We have reasons to believe that you have accomplices!" the teal blood shrieked.

The  highblood  ignored the girl in favor of staring down the empress. "And what would make you think that?"

She flipped her hand, "Our intelligence agents have informed us that these creatures, or cherubs, are unnatural. As if genetically mutated after birth. From these past days of study, it has come to the attention of the scientific community that these two entities  belong to the same being but forced apart by means unknown as of now."

Quiet whispers and gasps fill the room, awaiting his answer. 

And waited.

But none came. 

The empress let out a sigh of frustration, knowing this was to be expected. "What can you tell me about these... things..?"

The brown blood jerked a bit in surprise from her other side, hurriedly scrambling through papers in front of him. "The lime blooded female is docile and highly intelligent, however has no memory of anyone except Mr.  Makara ."

"And what about the other one?" The yellow blood said irritably. 

"Ah, well. He is of red blood, much like our Intergalactic Ambassador." 

"And?" Prompted the blue blood.

The man looked down to the snarling mini terror, "He seems to be unconditionally vicious." 

"So it's a monster," concluded the Legislator. 

She cackled a little, "I wasn't expecting an execution this evening."

"Are you mad?" yelped the brown blood, swinging his head in the direction of the teal blood and almost bashing the blue blood in the head. "It is only a child! You can't honestly kill a wriggler and sleep soundly."

The girl opened her mouth to rebut, but the Empress held up a hand. "Perhaps it can be reasoned with." 

She looked down to the  highblood . "Does the red blood have a name?"

He growled and looked away from the woman, " Caliborn ."

"Right then,  Caliborn . If it is within your understanding, give us a sign that there is something within you that is good."

The cherub ceased it scratching and endless hissing for a moment before it began to spew half  coherent threats and garbled meshes of predatorily sounds, alarming the council briefly.

"That was a waste of everyone's time," The legislator sneered. 

"Agreed, however,  Nitram  is correct. We cannot go about killing a child, regardless of species. We have put those days behind this world."

The audience of the room grows deathly silent as it awaits for the verdict. The empress glanced around before settling back upon the  highblood . 

" Gamzee Makara , I find you guilty of all of the previous stated charges. You are hereby sentenced to prison until further notice. And as for those creatures, they are to be deli vered  to a deserted planet in the farthest reaches of the galaxy. Take them away." 

The legislator tapped her cane with a victorious grin, "With pleasure." 

The giant troll growled in distress as he was forcibly yanked back and toward a shadowed doorway where no doubt sinister dungeons lay in wait for him. The lime blooded child within the glass prison cried out in panic and lightly scratched the glass, wide green eyes sparkling in fright as he disappeared from her s ight . 

The carts began to move, a small jerk before the wheels turned screeching , deafened by the hollering in the court block, the grossed gasps of nearby spectators witnessing the terrible baby faced monsters. While the female ducted her head in fright, the male was vivacious in the spot light. He sneered and stretched, ugly distorted laughter as he watched all of their angry pathetic faces. He felt there was nothing better then their misery. 

The joy was short lived as the doors swung open and the carts were jammed over the threshold and into an awaiting space craft, large and gleaming  the most delectable red. His smile dropped almost instantly as they were pushed up a shaky ramp and loaded into the ship. The female uncovered her face and took in the surroundings for a moment before hearing the loud clacking of boots approaching. 

"The boy is to be locked in a security unit immediately," the teal legislator said commandingly. 

The guard nodded and whipped the cart around clum sily  and rushed down a hallway.  "What about this one madam?" the second guard asked innocently as they moved out of the way for the court official to get a closer look. 

The female creature was nothing much to look at, thin and small, covered in only an obscure purple cod piece. Sick and twisted, she thought for a moment of how this child must have been treated under  Makara's  care. "The files say she is docile, I suppose the only just thing is to test that before we go about locking her up too."

The entire ship shook as the engines whirled to life and began to ascend. The legislator stood her ground as she clicked her keys into the lock of the cage and open the glass cautiously, waiting for the creature to try to escape. The little girl just stared wide eyed up at the troll, unaware of what seemed to be happening. A gloved hand reached in slowly, still weary of the danger, before scooping the child up and bringing her out of the container. 

"Madam..?" the guard shivered a bit nervously.

The woman held the child up by her armpits, her little feet kicking out gently in discomfort. "Can you speak?"

" Yuh  huh," the girl cooed in response weakly, her terror evident. 

"Do you have a name?" the teal blood asked, bringing the child closer. 

" Calli ..  ope ," she said in a ridiculous spit accent.

The troll  couldn't help a pucker faced grin at the girl. "Can you say,  Terezi ? That's my name."

"Ta..  Tezi " Was the successful enough response that earned a closed mouth giggle from the professional court woman. 

"Madam?" The guard interrupted.

Terezi  looked back to him, poker face armed and ready. "I see no harm in keeping the female with me for the duration of the trip, please see to it that the others are well equipped when dealing with the male."

"Yes madam!" Came the salute before he scurried away. 

The court legislator adjusted the small girl in her arms comfortably, cooing a little at the child, "Nothing to be scared of, I'm going to take good care of you."

Calliope made cute gasps every time a door whizzed open on the way to the control deck, which brought a smile to  Terezi's  face. She was a little envious of that innocent childlike wonder the girl was finding in everything. The legislator was greeted with standard salutes when she strode into the control room. She nodded to them individually, respectfully, before taking her seat in the central chair, the small green creature nestled securely on her lap. 

A guard entered not long after the ship began it's steady course into the starry sky, holding his hand. " Th -the male is secure madam," he wheezed. 

The faint smell of olive drifted up to the legislator and without turning to acknowledge him she muttered, "He bit you didn't he?"

The man sighed in shame, "Yea.."

"Better have that looked at."

"Yes madam," he whined like a child before heading back out.

_ They are not to be together.  _

Terezi  scratched a bit at her ear before moving her legs a bit, settling down into her plush chair. Calliope shifted herself, almost mimicking the troll woman before slouching into her side comfortably. The court official could feel this trip would be a long one indeed, even using methods like hyper-drive. She didn't wish to feel it, but drowsiness was already starting to settle in. It had been a long day and night to her, cloaked in daytime and running about at night to find the elusive scoundrel. She accomplished her  goal, to punish the cruel man for his wrongdoings. He managed to convince the nation, the world, of a pseudo kindness but she knew the truth. The long days full of restless nightmares over him but now he was finally where he belonged.

She reached over the child, patting her bald head gently. Her satisfaction weighing in heavier in relief knowing she saved an innocent child from him.  Terezi  smiled lazily down at the confused girl, who only managed to blink sleepily in return. 

The last thing the legislator saw before drifting off into a pleasant nap was a faint glowing blue that smelled as if it was coming from her very mind. 

The dream was short and pleasant, the court woman playing with a rare lime blooded troll child adorned with flowers and worshipped by  silhouettes  all around them. A stark bright light was all  Terezi  could see aside from the shadows of bowed figures and the child before her. She scoffed a bit, how fitting a way to figure out this was all a dream. Naturally it had to be, since she herself was blind. 

Her eyes fluttered open and the first thing she was greeted with was the shrill alarm and a booming automated voice announcing that an unauthorized vehicle had departed from the docking bay. The legislator fumbled a moment with a switch before the surveillance clicked back on the monitors, displaying every guard sound asleep and the security unit's door ajar and the room was completely empty. 

Terezi's  fist slammed down on the emergency distress signal. 

* * *

 

"Who is responsible for this?!" the Empress screamed.

" No one knows F.F. , there isn't any sign of forced entry, stowaways or-" a yellow blood began from a computer.

"Get  Vantas  in here now!" She demanded, face flushing  fuscia  in anger. 

"Your majesty, the ship's projections are complete!" Saluted the bulky blue blood from the adjacent monitor. "It appears to be a planet in the  milkest  galaxy, a puny world named Earth."

"Very good  Zahhak , arm troops. We will send a recovery team  imm -"

"Nope. Bad idea. Forbidden. Access fucking denied," chimed a lithe man adorn in red and grey. 

This man, no doubt the Intergalactic Ambassador from a shin y  golden pin embellishing his chest, strode in with a su ave and relaxed posture, easily avoiding bustling bodies on nimble feet. 

"And why do you figure?" T he empress clicked her tongue in dismay. 

"Because humans are dim witted, paranoid driven maniacs. I mean seriously, if you thought we were bad." He made a single finger swirling gesture next to his left ear to emphasize how crazy he felt the species was.

"Humans?" She squinted with disbelief. 

"Yea, they are the fleshy pink primates that inhabit the planet. They are prone to mass hysteria at any sign of things that are strange or different." He strode over to the computer occupied by the yellow blood and clicked a couple of buttons.  "Not even joking here, these insufferable shit spon ges  fight about things as idiotic as variation in skin tones and gender, just imagine what they will do if an invasive alien species decides to ram it's macho space cruiser bulge right up the anal crevice of their society. "

"Then what do you suggest we do?" The yellow blood seemed uninterested with this topic, almost forcing the question out. 

"Send in two officers, one for the capture and one for cover. The cover will pose as a human to distract the populace while the other focuses on bringing in the....... uh, what is it that we are even trying to get?" He turned back to the queen.

"A young cherub called  Caliborn ," she stated simply.

"Wait, the baby from the fucking court hear ing  today?" The ambassador's jaw hung open a little. "Wasn't  Terezi  in charge of transport? What happened?"

"Calm yourself, Ambassador. The Legislator was not harmed. She reported that the entire crew had fallen unconscious and allowed the muta ted  creature to escape,"  Zahhak  chimed in. 

"Never mind that, we need to get your partner ready," the empress cut in quickly. "According to the map, the ship will land on an isolated island in the middle of a large ocean. I trust you to be equip ped enough as you are, correct?" 

"Well yea, I was pretty much raised in the  wat \- wait a second, partner?" The man gritted his teeth. 

"Yes, another exceptional aquatic athlete," she smiled sweetly. 

"I'm not going on an extended work only voyage with  Eridan ."

"I'm not sending  Eridan , good  glub Karcrab ," she puffed out her cheeks in dismay.

"Then who?" He took a step forward out of curio sity . 

Suddenly the door creaked open and everyone in the room froze as a man was shuffled into the room. Shackled and towering aimlessly high was the now infamous  Gamzee Makara . He peered down on all those around him, j udg mental  and lividly angry. 

"Are you mad? This bigfoot monstrosity will eat me alive before we even dock!" The Ambassador hissed at the empress. "I'll take  Eridan , I was  jokin -"

"I am completely serious  Karkat ," the queen dead  panned. "He is thought to have accomplices which no doubt aided in the release and escape of the cherub. As you work to retrieve the lost child, you will monitor him in order to discover who his accomplices are."

"Alright  Feferi , but what is stopping him from making me into a squishy crunchy lunch?"  Karkat  narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms tightly.

"Right now he has been subdued with a tranquilizing agent. Apply it very hour and you should be fine."  Feferi  ensured. "If he starts to become out of your control then feel free to kill him."

"Fine, god damn it,"  Karkat  growled out. 

He straighten his posture and smoothed the lines of his stressed face, he stepped lightly to the giant.  Karkat  took one long look into the hateful eyes of  Gamzee  and wondered if he was setting out on a mission to capture a monster or was being thrown into the pits of hell to unleash one. 


	2. The Strider vacation

It was an early S aturday morning, the engines to the Strider private jet humming peacefully as the vessel soared over open expanses of the endless blue of the ocean. A young Dirk Strider looked out of the window at the passing clouds. They tricked his unentertained eyes through dark lenses with a false sense of fluff and cotton candy wonder. Upon the child's lap sat his most trusted friend and companion, Lil' Cal the long limbed puppet. Dirk huffed a bit as he restlessly adjusted the hat on his friend and looked around the empty haul of the plane. It had been seven hours and thirty eight minutes since the plane had left the terminal and the boy was absolutely sick of flying and the child believed without a doubt that Lil Cal was too.

The door to the pilot s' chamber of sheer boredom opened and out walked a tall and thin man adorned with round aviators. "Sup  lil ' man," he said as stepped cautiously over to the boy.

"Need a drink or something?" the elder Strider asked with a pat to the boy's head. 

Dirk didn't say anything, instead opting to just glare at a thick paper booklet under the arm of his elder brother. Finally the boy groaned out, "I thought you said you wouldn't work this week." 

The man tensed up at the comment before moving away with a elegant sway. "I'll get you some water, hang tight," and with that he left the room again. 

The child held out the puppet at arm's length and whispered harshly at it, "I knew this was n't a real vacation. I bet he is only taking us there to coin us off on the beach  whi -" 

The elder Strider appeared again from the opposite side of the craft with a glass of water as promised and set it down on a countertop a little to far from Dirk to be within arm's length along with the thick packet.  "Look Dirk, I'm sorry. I brought the new manuscript with me but I swear this trip is just for us, I promise." 

"That's what you said last time," Dirk said with a defeated frown and tilting Lil' Cal's wooden face to mimic his displeasure. 

"Well this time I called everyone I could think of and told then to fuck off, this week is just for you kiddo," the man smiled and ruffled the boy's hair affectionately before raising to leave. "We should be there in a little bit, if you got to use the bathroom then now is the time."

Dirk dared not move until after the door to the cock pit clicked closed. The moment it did however, the child all but vaulted off his seat with his puppet and shuffled across  the floor on his stomach and elbows like a secret agent. He didn't have to crawl far to get to the counter that held his drink and the manuscript, all he had to do was hide the packet of papers until the vacation was over to ensure that his brother wouldn't run off to work.  The boy reached his arm up with eyes focused on the doorway the man had departed from, his fingers brushing over the course pages of the book as well as the side of the glass cup. He tried to reach further to grasp the paper but the edge of his hand only succeeded in tipping over the glass toward himself and pou ring  the liquid all over him. 

As if on cue, the ever punctual elder Strider strolled back into the room to prepare the younger brother for landing. He froze for a moment, looking at the slogging wet child. "Dirk, why are you all wet? Jesus, couldn't wait till you got to the beach huh?"

"I'm wet because I miscalculated how much I ha d  to reach to grab your papers. The probability of you leaving again are significantly lessened if you do not have access to your manuscript for the week,"  c ame Dirk's response almost robotically. 

"Dude I already told you I'm  not going to work this week. Stop trying to make mock punishments for a crime I didn't commit. If you conclude the verdict now then I will call double jeopardy if you do it later," the man chimed in with a mock nasal voice before swooping his wet brother off the floor and into his seat, buckling the belt. 

"Now Dirk, since I'm not allowed to do anything that could be considered work related, I am trusting you with taking pictures for our trip," the man reached into his pocket and extracted a small digital camera. "You have to promise to make this as unbearably horrible as possible. Like mayb e  pictures of sunburnt tourist and people wearing shit they shouldn't."

"It just sounds like you 're  described yoursel f there Dave," the boy snickered, covering his puppet companion's mouth to copy his muffled laughter. 

Dave let out a fake gasp, "Oh no, you've figured me out."

Dirk giggled more as he reached out and took the device from the movie director. The boy looked about his person briefly only to relieve his pockets were surely too small to fit the camera, so he opted to wrap the cord around the neck  of his beloved Lil' Cal and nodded in approval of the puppet's totally sick new tech bling. 

Dave offered up a fist bump, which the boy gratefully accepted, before he rose and began back to the pilot's chambers. Dirk's smile fell as he realized right before the door has shut that his beloved brother ha d  grabbed the manuscript. 

* * *

 

The landing was smooth and uneventful on the strip. Many bystanders  gasped and murmured in surprise upon seeing the famous movie director exiting the plane toting a small child. Dirk was used to this kind of attention and still hated it. Everyone was loud and nosey, and it wasn't long before dozens of those innocent viewers had taken out cameras and cell phone and crowded around the elder Strider. They snapped millions of photos, shouted procla mations  of love and questions. The smaller boy hung onto the man and muttered none sense into his puppet's face. It took security ten minutes of struggling with the crowd to finally move people out of the way long enough for Dave to enter the terminal with his little brother. 

Once inside the check in terminals, the Strider brothers were greeted by a beautiful woman surrounded by three children about Dirk's age. The boy made no attempt to hide his surprise as he gasped in delight and struggled with every fiber of his existence to be let down. Dave chuckled and did as his kicking brother demanded, watching as the child dashed to the other children. "How are you, Dave?" The woman asked as she approached him. 

The Strider in question reached out and hugged her firmly and splashed a smooch on her check before backing away slightly, "Holy fuck Rose, why didn't you warn me that this flight  was going to take almost eight hours?   Mission to control, buzz  buzz , Huston we got a problem, coloring books apparently are no longer fun."

"Are you suspecting me to believe you were coloring the whole time?" Rose grinned a little. 

"Uh, well. I was for like, twenty minutes. Then Dirk was like, L.O.L.  numbnuts  this shit is for the crows," Dave groaned a bit and rubbed his neck. "Kid bitches at me all the time for never doing shit with him but doesn't like anything I try to do with him. All about fucking ponies and puppets."

"Have you tried a pet? I get Roxy to do a lot of things with me if it involves our cats," Rose suggested with a raised brow. 

"You didn't bring a cat with you right? You know Dirk is allergic," the elder Strider raised his own brow. 

"Much to Roxy's displeasure, no. We left all the cats with a sitter. May G od help them." the woman brought a hand up to her  eye and wiped away invisible tears. 

Dave snorted a bit with laughter he couldn't quite hold in before breathing out deeply. "Alright I see the  rugrats  but where is John and Jade?"

"Well, you know John. He is probably booby-trapping your entire villa and Jade is actually here on business so she scurried off to work," Rose made a small tsk noise before crossing her arms. 

Dave opened his mouth, no doubt to complain, but was interrupted by a scream and thud and more screaming coming from the kids. The man rushed over to the scene of Dirk and  the other boy rustling about on the floor with  Roxy and the other girl standing a little away from the tussle. It only took the director a moment before he pulled his younger brother off the screaming boy and placed him down away from the other. "We haven't even been here twenty minutes Dirk, the hell?" 

Dirk scrubbed at his check a bit, "He  asked for it."

Dave adjusted his glasses and looked to the other kid, "Jake?"

"I just, just wanted to fisticuff but  but but , Dirk punched me reall y  really  hard and  and ," the boy blubbered out through tears and snot. 

"Jake hit him first Mr. Strider," the glasses totting girl next to Roxy chimed in. 

Dave couldn't help but sigh out in exasperation. This vacation was going to be long and overbear ing , he could feel it. 

" Ew , he bit me.." Jake muttered with a look to his arm. The  two girls echoed an over dramatic  ew  before laughing. 

Rose came around gave Dave an affectionate pat on the head, "Come on kids, time to head back." 

All the kids moved quickly to follow Rose down the hallway, Dirk stopping along the way to take his brother's hand and tug him into a stand before continuing after the  others. This was the first time any one from the group had been  to Hawaii and the wonder was evident on everyone's faces. While the others marveled at the greenery and buildings, Dirk took in the ridiculous people. Not doubt perfect for picture taking. The boy tried to hold up the camera at every chance he could, but before he knew it, they were boarding a ferry to escort them to a smaller island on the chain. 

"Alright  lil'bro , chill here with your friends, I  gotta  talk to Aunty Rose," Dave had told the boy before moving away and joining Rose at a table. 

Dirk wondered over to the other kids a bit wearily, taking in the situation. Jake held out his bite mark to the girls and whispered to them, "Does this look infected to you?" 

Roxy grinned and replied, "Oh yea, looks  terimi -ill." 

"I think you mean terminal," Dirk corrected and made the others jump. "Uh, Jake, I'm sorry I bit you and punched you in the face."

"You don't have rabies right?" Jake squinted his eyes at his friend. 

"People don’t get rabies," the other girl chimed in. 

"Yes they do Jane, people get rabies all the time, "Jake argued. 

The children began to bicker more which caused Dirk to look back toward his bother in distress, only to realize that Dave and Rose were hunched over the manuscript and working. 

* * *

 

The ferry docked and unloaded the selected passengers and the crew made their way into an awaiting limo. All of the children but Dirk sc reeched  in delight as they filed into the vehicle. The boy in question just moped and drug his feet as he entered and didn't say a word to anyone the entire trip to the villa. Once they were on the grounds, the younger Strider was the first to burst through the doors and run into the large house. Dave watched the actions unfold but did nothing to stop the boy. 

Rose looked to D ave with concern before exiting the limo and strolled calmly to the entrance  and fiddled with the handle only to discover that Dirk has locked the door. "Dirk? John? Can someone please unlock the door?" 

"No!" Was the reply from the younger Strider. "Not until Dave gets rid of those papers."

"What's going on?" Dave groaned as he walked up the stairs. 

"It appears your villa has been taken hostage for the ransom of an actual vacation ," Rose whispered to him. 

"God damn it Dirk, open the door!" the elder Strider pounded on the woodwork, his face going a little flushed from his frustration. 

"No!" Came the same frustration in a few octaves higher. 

"Mommy, what's going on?" Roxy whispered back. 

The woman patted her child's head, "N othing sweetie, Dirk is just throwing a tantrum. Why don't you go take  Jakey  and  Janey  to play in the fountain?"

All the children nodded almost in unison before stumbling and racing to the before mentioned fountain stereotypically placed in the driveway.

"Dirk, it's been a long day with that flight and shit, just open the door." Dave tried to reason. 

"Just go to a hotel then, like you always do," the child shot back. "Nothing you say is going to make me open this door."

The elder Strider looked to his companion, who in turn just shrugged. Dave frowned heavily and vaulted over the banister and into the bushes, making his way through the greenery to a side door. He wiggled the knob and was relieved that it clicked open and allowed him to enter the house. As Dave made his way toward the front door, a floorboard creaked under his weight and alerted the little brother to his presence. Dirk yelped for a moment before running away only to have the elder brother take chase. Dirk stumbled over the limbs of his puppet friend and tumbled downward. The elder Strider rushed to swo op his brother off the ground and into his arms. Dirk tried to lick up the man's arm in hopes of being released but to no avail. The child then slumped over in defeat as he was carried up the grand staircase and dumped onto a bed in some unknown room.

 "Now you are going to sit in here and think about your behavior," Dave scolded. "You are making this vacation pretty shitty so far man."

"Well sorry if I just want you to stop working for at least an hour," Dirk snapped back. 

"Look Dirk, you might not understand now but you will thank me when you are older," the man said with a frown. "I'm doing this so you can live a better life." 

The boy flopped down onto the bed, face first and ignored his brother. Dave sighed again for what felt like the millionth time before turning on his heel and leaving the room, leaving the door open just a sliver. Dirk was not enticed out of the room from that though, he stayed indoors the whole day just watching his friends splash about outside in the fountain and gardens. He napped off his jet lag and even told stories to Lil' Cal. Everything about the day felt average to the boy. It is how he spent every day. Alone in his room. 

Several hours had passed before the sun began to creep down and the children were ushered inside. Dave had creaked up the stairs and into Dirk's room. "Hey there, why aren't you playing with your friends? I flew them out here just to see you," the man said quietly as he moved cautiously toward the bed before sitting down gently. 

The boy just shrugged and picked some dirt out of the wooden crevices of his puppet. Dave only watched the creepy face of the doll for a moment before he rubbed his nose for a moment. "So,  Auntey  Rose said to get you a pet."

Dirk looked up at that, surprise and confusion coloring his face. "That would be better then some knick knack souvenir right?" the elder asked with a tilt of his head.  

"Would a pet make us more like a normal family?"

The boy's question caught Dave off guard, making him frown a bit. "We are probably never going to be a normal family Dirk. I'm not even really your  real brother  n or your dad," he started. "Normal families don't go to cool places or make movies or own their own private plane. Do you really want to be normal?" 

Dirk looked over to his adoptive brother. "I just want to do normal family things, like eating dinner together or playing catch?"

The elder Strider slung an arm around the child, "Well dinner is done now if you want to come downstairs? We have the table set up and everything."

The younger Strider went to nod before a bright green glow sailing from the sky caught his attention. "What the fuck?" Dave hissed as he went to the window. 

"It's a falling star!" Dirk screeched out before shoving his brother out of the room. "It's mine! Get out!"

Dave pushed back a bit at the shoving, comically flopping onto the floor much to Dirk's dismay. "Stop that, stop it! I have to make a wish!"

Dave just laid on the floor unmoving and out of frustration the younger Strider threw a blanket over the man before moving to the window. "I wish for an angel," the child tried to whisper so his brother couldn't hear him. "I don't care what it looks like, just a nice angel so I won't be alone when Dave is gone." 

The elder Strider could obviously hear the wishing and felt a terrible pang of guilt in his chest. He had promised the kid so much and had  always let him down when he was the only person that mattered. Dirk still believed in him and Dave swore to himself that he was going to try harder for his adoptive son, his adoptive brother.

"Are you done?" The man interrupted as he sat up and looked to the younger Strider. " Gotta  get to the food before Jade's dog does."

Dirk ran over to his brother before backtracking and grabbing  Lil'Cal  and dashing back. "Jade brought her dog?" He asked in excitement as he pulled on Dave's sleeve. 

"Unfortunately," the elder groaned. "No petting the hell hound, ok?" 

Dave stood up and stretched before taking his brother's hand and leading him down the stairs. "I know, I know," Dirk whined a bit. 

" Gotta  get you one of those naked cats or something," the man grinned. "Put stupid sweaters and shit on it."

While the Strider villa enjoyed a well rounded meal, several miles away on the tiny island was a smoking crash site. The green fumes crowded the night sky and blocked the stars. From the crater emerged a delicate clawed hand that scrapped against the soft dirt before it was joined by the other. The little green creature hauled his tiny body out of the embedded craft with a grunt. Once he was on his feet, he swayed a bit groggily and held his head. 

Caliborn  didn't like sleeping since every time he did, his head began to pound as it tried to shift his conscious to his sister even if she was no longer there. He growled in anger as he began to venture clum sily  away from the space craft. He shrunk away from the passing lights of other vehicles and scratched a bit at his ugly purple cod piece. The child looked around before clawing at the fabric until it began to tear away from his skin, stopping only when he heard the low bubble of a croaking frog. His eyes widened in absolute wonder over the smaller green creature. The boy approached the amphibian and shrunk down to his hands and knees and crawled toward the frog.  Caliborn  couldn't help but grin mischievously  as he raised his claws menacingly over the helpless creature but was interrupted by load screeching which caused the frog to leap away.

Caliborn  gasped out in distress before looking toward the noise only to be briefly blinded by headlights before the vehicle crashed into him. The truck pulled swayed into a stop and the driver threw open the door and rushed around the tires. "What did you hit?" came a shout from the passenger of the truck. 

"I have no idea, looked like some kind of.." the man froze as a small hand fell away from the fender. "Um, honey? You better call someone." 


	3. Say hello!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How's it going? As always comments and other junk are welcome.

 

Caliborn  groaned in agony as he slowly seeped back into consciousness. He felt absolutely wretched, like he was brutally beaten with a metal rod. He gripped ahold of his aching head and struggled to sit up. He licked at his dry lips and opened and closed his mouth a few times, jaw loosely clicking. The child reached up to his face and prodded his tiny teeth to ensure they were all in tact  be for e  the shrill sounds of numerous whimpers greeted him. He jumped to his feet and twirled around in a panic. Again, the boy found himself locked in a tiny prison, this time blocked with a wire fence. Across from him where dogs and cats in similar looking containers, all distressed and fearful of him.  Caliborn  shouted snarled gibberish at them, trying to formulate the sounds needed to ask "Where am I?" but only succeeded in terrifying the animals more .  

Then the noise of a door chime froze the child in his place. "Hey Jade," came a muffled noise. 

"Hello Mrs. English," came another voice, a gentle and young one. 

Caliborn  panicked again, voices meant pain and he was never a fan of that unless it was inflicted on someone else. The little monster began to claw frantically at the chain linked door to his tiny prison, managing to tear through the wire with a little combined effort of teeth and claws. 

Outside the kennel, at the front desk was a woman with the Strider brothers. "It's Miss English, you only use the other term when someone is married," corrected the woman. "What's up Dave? Any special reason to visit?"

"Actually yea, seeing as you decided to volu nteer  all your free time away instead of mad awesome parties at the Strider castle, I figured it would be in my best interest to harass you til l  you throw puppies and kittens at me," The elder Strider grinned.

"But tell me before you do because I'm allergic," Dirk got up on his tip toes to look at the woman. 

"Kids man, adorable right? Anyway, Dirk was thinking about getting a pet while we were here. Best hairless tiny turtleneck friend," Dave crossed his arms over the counter. "Got anything like that?"

"Well our animals don't come with tiny turtlenecks but we can figure something out," she smiled back. "Alright Dirk, here is a tissue. I can trust you can go back in the kennel and pick something out right?" 

The little boy nodded before trying to trot over the doorway, "Wait a second there man, you might want to just leave Cal out here." 

The child frowned before sulking to a chair and placing his puppet upon the seat. He scurried back to the doorway and was ushered inside by Jade. 

Outside the dingy animal shelter was stationed a couple of fierce trolls. "Is he even in there?"  Karkat  asked with crossed arms. 

"Ah yes my mutant blooded brother, this is where his trail tracks," the  highblood  grinned through a pair of binoculars. 

"What are you even looking at with those?" 

"A wall."

Karkat  growled out, "Great, giant psychopath and huge fucking imbecile. I don't know what is worse, the possibility of being ripped to shre ds  as you drink my blood or you tripping and smashing me with your oversized stupidity."

Gamzee  chuckled lowly, "That's nasty, blood goes in soup first."

The red blood gaged a bit before turning away and sitting in the shade of a nearby tree. "I'm only kidding, jokes are my motherfucking special ty  after all. Can't be all frowns and displeasure, would end up looking like you."

"And what's wrong with looking like me?"  Karkat  shot back. 

"There  aint  no miracles in your life, nothing but unhappiness and self hatred,"  Gamzee  turned away from the wall and looked at the ambassador through the scopes. 

"You're fucking useless, where is the damn cherub so I can go home?" 

"Patience motherfucker, good things come to those who wait."

Jade reached under her desk and pulled out a paper, "Alright Dave, just fill out your information. Vacation home here, mailing address here-"

"Yes Jade, I know how to sell my soul to the devil thanks," Dave cut in, grabbing the pen and scribbling his information in the designated spots. 

"So, I'm guessing the pet business isn't your idea?" 

"What gave you the first clue?" Dave snorted and scribbled out a misspelling. 

"Has it got that bad?" Jade leaned forward and whispered. 

The elder Strider remained silent, instead only doodling Sweet Bro riding off into an explosion on a donkey. Jade frowned and huffed a bit in frustration. She  knew that things has been sour between the brothers since Dave struck it big with a pity filled producer and became the best movie director in Hollywood. "How long till the crew gets here?" The girl whispered again.

"They are already here," Dave hissed back, dropping the pen. "I thought flying in all those brats would occupy him long enough to get filming done."

"And that backfired so now you are resorting to animals?" Jade accused, stepping back.

"Yes!" Dave cried out. "God damn it, yes! I'm at my wits end Jade!"

"And just taking a vacation hasn't crossed your mind? Maybe actually spending time with him?" Jade smacked the tabletop in a fit. 

"And how do you suggest I do that, huh? It's not as fucking easy as everyone tries to pretend it to be!"

Dirk backed away from the doorway at last. He knew that Dave would never give up work for him, it was stupid to get his hopes up. The elder Strider and Jade continued to bicker and shout, but the younger boy ignored it in favor of continuing down the hallway toward stacks of cages and some full length gated pockets containing larger dogs. The child held the tissue up to his nose as he walked further. 

How weird, he thought as he noticed all the animals cowering before him at the back of their cages. Suddenly a shriek sounded as the child turned the corner and was frozen in place by a little green creature dangling from an open wire mesh door. The strange animal turned it's head with a start, staring down the boy with wide red eyes. It began to hiss and growl out as it flailed about in desperation. Finally it's claws came free from the metal and the creature fell down with a squeak.

Dirk approached the lizard like animal, which scrambled back with more shrieking. "Hey, shush!" The boy demanded, looking back toward the way he came from. 

The last thing he wanted  to see was  his brother.  Caliborn  looked back where the child had looked, noticing a poster of a similar child hugging one of those whimpering fluffy animals that lined the walls in cages. Another picture was slightly below it of the child and animal leaving a doorway together. The little cherub struggled to stand, causing the little boy to look back toward the creature. "What are you?"

The little green creature approached the human boy, fists clenched at his side. He couldn't believe he was about to do this, something so disgustingly tender and affectionate. It meant getting out, to be freed apparently, and it was the easiest solution. "Hello?"

"H-Hell-o," The creature jumped forward and embraced the child like the picture had illustrated. 

Dirk froze, unable to process what was happening. Did this thing just talk to him? The boy pulled away from the creature and grinned in unfathomable excitement. He put a hand on the shoulder of the little creature, "I'm Dirk, what's your name?"

The cherub just stood wide eyed and stared at the boy, slowing working what he had just said. Name was a familiar word, the Empress of the trial had asked about it before. The child echoed the answer of the  highblood , "Cal- iborn ."

Jade growled out, "Look, you have to start acting like you actually want your brother around. Take him on set with you or something for Christ's sake, any time at all will probably do just fine."

"Fuck Jade, think you have the answers for  everythi -"

Dave cut off as Dirk entered with his new found friend, "Oh my god, Jade!"

The elder Strider dived in and scooped his brother away from the creature. "What is that thing?"

Jade scooped up the little green animal, "I  dunno ! A deformed iguana maybe? But we thought it was going to die!"

"So it's sick?"

"No,  it was hit by a pickup!"

The cherub struggled in the grip of the female, "Dave! Let me down!"

The elder Strider only tightened his hold slightly on the child. "Don't you want a hairless cat or something?"

"No! I want the iguana!" Dirk cried out.

"We should have a hairless terrier back there or something?" Jade tried to reason.

"No, this one talks! Say hello,  Caliborn !" 

"Iguanas don't talk  lil ' bro," Dave corrected. 

Caliborn  put his claws to his face, trying to process what they were saying. The little human wanted him to do something, he could tell from hearing his name.

"He did!" Dirk insisted.

"Does it have to be this thing?" The movie director groaned out.

The creature echoed the groan, drawing attention to him. 

"Yea, he's good," Dirk nodded a bit. "I can tell."

Jade and Dave exchanged looks of defeat and ex asperation , the women opening her mouth to debate once again before noticing the pleading look coming from the elder Strider. She let out a huff of breath, "Well you are going to have to think of a name for him." 

Jade lowered herself and released the green creature from her grasp, letting him almost plop onto the floor. He glanced about at her, to the two Striders, trying to process what they had said and what was going on. He heard the word "name" being stated once again but before he could even form the word, the child jumped up. "His name is  Caliborn !" 

"Oh hold on now," Jade chuckled as she made her way behind the counter and flipped through some of the papers that Dave had been signing earlier. 

She scribbled down the name and the date before motioning the elder Strider over. He rose from his seat lethargically , posture slumped as he took the offered pen and scribbled his name onto the final adoption paperwork. Dirk bounded over to the counter, "Is it done? Are you done?" 

Dave sighed out and looked down to the younger Strider, "I  dunno lil ' man, there is a license fee. I don't think I can afford it." 

Dirk immediately fished about in his pockets for the little bit  of money he was allowed to carry around before he was interrupted, "I was joking kiddo, relax."

The child grinned wide before dashing back over to  Caliborn , grabbing onto his hand and hopping about excitedly. The elder Strider couldn't help but chuckle as he passed Jade the required amount of money and she covered his hand for a moment. Officially catching his attention, he turned to her, "Don't fuck this up."

Dave's jaw tightened as he slipped his hand out from under her s and he approached the new duo who were attempting to converse. Or at least Dirk was trying and the little green not iguana looked at him confused as all hell. The man just shrugged off the weird behavior of his brother before returning to the seat he occupied previously and retrieved Lil' Cal. "Alright, time to head out."

Outside of the shelter, upon the hill with the lone tree, the two aliens still awaited for the cherub's appearance. "What if he doesn't even come out? We should have just rushed in there and-"

" Shh !"  Gamzee  hissed out as soon as the dingy door opened. "If you stay all loud and  rambunctious , one of those pink monkey folk might hear you..." 

Karkat  crossed his arms and leaned in close next to the  highblood . "Their hearing isn't even that good dumbass." 

Suddenly,  Caliborn  rushed out of the building, causing the two trolls to leap to their feet to take chase before the smaller mutant blood shoved his giant counterpart into the bushes when they realized a thick leash worked around the green child's throat. It pulled tight and flung him backwards, which made him vocally scream out in frustration. "Wow there dude, you're going to hurt yourself doing that," the taller human sighed out, wrapping the end of the leash tighter around his hand. 

Dirk laughed, jumping off the small porch and helping his new pal off the dirt.  "Fuck! Just our luck that an already hazardous situation has turned over and is belly up in the most grotesque bloating-"

"Don't worry, brother. We will get him," the taller trolls petted down the smaller trolls arm.

Karkat's  face twisted in mild disgust before moving away from the other, "Well now that he's using this human unit as a shield against us, I have to actually resort to the original bogus plan." 

Gamzee  clapped his hands together briefly, "Ah man, this is going to be wicked weird!"

The ambassador only crossed his arms again with a scowl, "Yea, since you look like a monster, I'm going to have to blend in." 


End file.
